EEEEEKKK

I am so stressed out today. I missed a whole lot of school before Thanksgiving, so I was very stressed out about coming to school. The drive here helped a little, but as soon as I parked in the Kirkwood parking lot I felt like turning back around. I no longer have my College 101 class, so I have 2 hours between classes on Mondays and 3 hours on Wednesdays. I went to my first class, Composition I, and decided that I am pretty damn far behind. I need to do some more research, then I have to add the information, and then on Wednesday I have to come in to the workshop so that my teacher can help me add in the sources and make the works cited for the new sources. The good thing is that we have one more class after that and all thats due is our final paper and our last type talk. Then the next monday, 12/12, we have our final exam and the class is done! Now I have to sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for the next class where I've missed an entire reading assignment and a quiz. Luckily, that class will be done too, and dear god I can't wait! I hate it - its Philosophy. I spend the majority of my life wondering what the fuck I'm doing and what's the point of it all anyway. I'm depressed easily, so the class making me think that way more often makes me more depressed. I hate it. I'm gonna ask to take the quiz either before or after the class really quick, and I'm going to B.S. my way through the fucker. Then I'll have to B.S. my way through the final exam and hope that I don't flunk. I have to do the reading assignment, as well.
Then I have my math class tomorrow, which I have to do the homework for tonight. If I calm down I can get it done, but my stress levels are so incredibly high that I can't stand it. I have to enter in my information from my surveys as well, which should be a treat. Then for my 2nd hour class (college 101) I have to set up an appointment with my teacher. Then I have to write out my "who am i now" paper and assemble everything ive done into a portfolio. She's going to help me destress, though, cuz i sent her an email.... Hopefully she inspires me like usual because I need it right now.
I need a cigarette really really bad right now. I think I've decided to buy a pack when I get home. I'm also gonna get a sub. I need to get rid of the stress so I can finish out the term. THEN I can quit. Robin will be disappointed because I really really wanted to quit and she was going to be my support. I just can't quit cold turkey, though. It's just too difficult. I should probably do something for homework. i'll write a todo list and look up stuff about when the new term starts. then i'll start in on my composition shit. wish me luck, because I need it more than i ever have right now.